Wednesday January 7, 2009

candor \KAN-der\, noun:1. honesty in giving one's view or opinion; frankness and sincerity

I have an issue with being candid. I always have. I am generally a conflict avoider. I am really good at it. Honestly, I have perfected the avoidance of conflict. But I digress....back to candor. Mostly I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and frankly, who am I, to give an opinion on anyone else's life? Obviously it's different with my children - I guess it's kind of in the job description as mother to be candid and to promote candor in your children as well. That can work out well - or not. Obviously, this is a great thing when you hear all of the little details of their life, good and bad - it's what we all hope to have, good communication. It can sometimes go a bit awry too. For example, when your child very loudly in a grocery store says "Mommy, why does that person look so funny? ", they're just being candid, right? (Even though you'd like nothing better than to fall through a miraculously appearing hole in the floor.) Or, when your teenager asks "Why's it taking so long for dinner to be ready?" after you've spent the last two years running around like a crazy person answering every beck and call of four children , to the exclusion of making dinner - just a candid, honest question, right? (Even though it promotes the urge to slap a bowl of cereal in front of him and say "Voila, dinner!") But, then again, despite those uncomfortable or perhaps, irritating moments, I know in my heart that honesty and candor is better than the alternative. Case in point, my father is an amazingly healthy 80 years young. But he can't hear, really can't hear. And I so badly want to tell him to just go get hearing aides already! But, I just can't bring myself to do it - lack of candor, conflict avoidant, call it what you will. I need to take a lesson from my children and just say it , already!!!!!